So often we’re asked, “so what do you guys do, anyway?”  I figured it would be fun to share a list of unusual tasks that a wedding day brings.  As a real-life example, I’ll use Melissa & TJ’s wedding from Memorial Day weekend.  Here’s a list of things we did in a span of about nine hours:

Ceremony preparation:

• Pinned corsages on the mothers, godmothers, special aunts, and readers
• Pinned boutonnieres on the fathers, groomsmen, and groom
• Distributed bouquets to the bridesmaids, flower girl, and bride
• Tied reserved signs to chairs for the ceremony
• Poured sand in vases in preparation for the sand ceremony
• Determined the color of the table linen for the ceremony (a last-minute addition)
• Found an out-of-the-way place for the string quartet to leave their instrument cases
• Discussed cues and the ceremony with the quartet
• Gave the reader her copy of the reading

Ceremony:

• Cued the ceremony musicians
• Lined up the parents and bridal party before the ceremony
• Passed the marriage license to the officiant so he could fill in the form
• Held the wedding rings before the ceremony began
• Helped the flower girl down the steps to the ceremony so she didn’t trip over her long dress
• ‘Floofed’ the bride’s dress and fixed her veil before she headed down the aisle

Reception preparation:

• Asked the caterer to get linens off the truck so the cake baker and DJ could begin setting up
• Made sure all the family members were in place for the formal photographs
• Worked with the florist when there was one table arrangement missing
• Asked the venue contact about where the DJ’s power supply was located
• Held up the bride’s train while the bridesmaids bustled underneath (often we’ll do the bustle on our own)

Reception:

• Politely invited guests to their seats so we could begin
• Lined up the bridal party before the introductions were made
• Worked with the DJ and caterer to ensure the timeline was upheld
• Brought the bride and groom drinks from the bar to their sweetheart table
• Updated the bride and groom before each major event of the reception
• Found the site manager when the one and only light bulb in the restroom was burned out
• Ensured the photographers and DJ ate their vendor meals when they wouldn’t miss a moment of the action
• Quickly showed the bride and groom how to cut their wedding cake
• Had a chair ready for the bride to sit on during the garter toss
• Boxed up two slices of cake for the flower girl and her father who had to leave early
• Boxed up two slices of cake for the bride and groom to eat in the limousine
• Passed out sparklers to the bridal party for the send-off
• Lit the sparklers once everyone was in place
• Had the driver move the limousine to the correct position in front of the house to allow guests to make a pathway from the front door for the send-off
• Made sure the caterer swept/mopped the floor at the end of the night (a venue requirement)
• Carried wedding gifts & leftover liquor to the family’s cars

Keeping things moving:

• Directed guests to the right location for the ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception
• Offset the timeline so the photographer could get all the portraits done
• Showed the photographer the venue and several location options for formal photographs
• Did a final sweep of the building to ensure nobody left personal belongings
• Served as an incognito test lighting subject for the photographer
• Distributed vendor tips on behalf of the bride and groom

If you’re not planning on hiring a wedding day coordinator, think of who will do all these tasks when they arise on the wedding day.  Also consider if that person will stick around through the end of the reception or if they’ll take advantage of the open bar and be worthless by midnight.  Most of these things don’t fall under the caterer’s or venue’s responsibilities so don’t assume they’ll be handled by the professionals you’ve hired.

Here are some photos from other weddings of me in action!

Organizing & directing Kinley’s wedding rehearsal:

Directing Alison & her dad at another rehearsal:

Troubleshooting with a pew that’s not designed to hold bows:

Telling Lynette & her bridesmaids when it’s time to line up for the ceremony:

Showing Ashley & her bridesmaids where to go:

Pinning Ashley’s dad’s boutonniere:

Showing Jamie & John how to cut their cake so their photos look nice (then getting out of the way before they do it!)

Confirming with Evan (MyDeejay.com) about the timeline and adjusting events as necessary (yes, this is the worst photo of us):

Our wedding month coordination service is a reasonable $1,925!  Compared to the cost of your entire wedding, I’ll bet this is not a big amount.  Why not invest a little bit to ensure you’re able to enjoy every minute of your wedding day instead of worrying about all these little details?

It’s no secret that I HATE being hot.  Hate it.  With a passion.  In fact, there is nothing I hate more in the world than being hot.  Trouble is, I love beautiful outdoor weddings

Granted, you could be lucky like Hallie and Matt and schedule an outdoor wedding in the middle of July and have beautiful, not too hot weather, but that’s pretty unusual in the DC area!  So today we’re giving you some ideas to keep cool in the DC heat!

For me, the first thing I do when it gets hot is get my hair off my neck.  Of course, mine rarely looks as good at weddings as these ladies!

Of course, you need to wear a dress that works with the heat, too.  Cotton wedding dresses are becoming quite the trend, because, although I’ve never worn one, I bet those heavy skirts on ballgowns can get CRAZY hot!  The Cotton Bride makes GORGEOUS dresses in cool fabrics like linen, silk and yes, cotton.  Here are a few of my favorites from the collection (the following two pictures are from Martha Stewart Weddings):

And I LOVE this one, which is actually for sale at Preownedweddingdresses.com

You can also go with a non-floor length dress.  Summer is the PERFECT time for these adorable dresses!  And do you know who has tons of adorable short dresses?   David’s Bridal!  (I know, I know, a lot of people hate them.  But you know what?  They’re affordable, and they are VERY plus size bride friendly, something a lot of bridal shops can’t say!)

How chic would this dress be for a summer courthouse wedding or cocktail party wedding?

LOVE this dress from David’s Woman collection:

Or one of my absolute favorite dresses from one of my absolute favorite designers, Stephanie James Couture’s Audry dress:

Of course, you’ll want to keep your maids cool too, like in these adorable seersucker dresses from Lula Kate!

Or these sunny yellow dresses, photographed by Rebecca at Millie Holloman Photography:

Or an adorable cotton dress, like this one from J Crew

Of course, you can’t make the guys sweat it out while the girls are cool and breezy, can you?  How dapper is this groom, featured in The Bride’s Cafe?

Or you could draw inspiration from my friend’s wedding in Hawaii, where I can assure you, it was plenty hot!

Or let the guys rock the flip flops to keep their feet cool:

In the extreme heat, you also need to keep your guests in mind.  Although you can’t control what they wear (as much as you’d like to!) you can offer them a little relief from the heat, whether it’s in the form of parasols:

Style Me Pretty:

Fans, like these adorable DIY ones (with the program on the other side!) from Ms. Potato Chips of Wedding Bee:

Or these great paper ones from Luna Bazaar:

Hats, like these great Panamas featured in Brides magazine:

Or some nice, cool drinks (word to the wise — to cool your guests pre-ceremony, use non-alcoholic drinks only.  It will save you money, your guests won’t be drunk when you say I do, and non-alcoholic drinks are much more cooling than alcohol!)

Style Me Pretty has some great photos of summery drinks:

And, of course, if you’re still hot at the end of the night from all of that dancing, there’s always this option:

Anyone have any great ideas for beating the heat this summer?!

In the first part of this post, we covered some country songs, some cheesy songs, some current songs, and some folk songs you can dance to with your daddy.  Today, let’s see what else we can find.

There’s “Daddy’s Girl” by Red Sovine

“Just the Way You Are” Billy Joel

or “Gracie” by Ben Folds (particularly handy if your name is Grace, of course…)

There are songs that just automatically make the guests melt and go “Awwww….” — I’m a sucker for these songs.

“Daughter” Loudoun Wainwright (which you might remember from the ending of “Knocked Up”

“Father and Daughter” Paul Simon (sorry about the video…I don’t know those people, obviously)

“Over the Rainbow” (the Iz version, obviously!)

“You’ve Got a Friend” James Taylor

“Stand By Me” Ben E. King

And “Have I Told You Lately That I Love You” (you can use the Rod Stewart version, but I prefer the Van Morrison tune)

(Sorry for the Wall-E video…it was the only version I could find that wasn’t some weird tribute to Zac Efron or Twilight…teenage girls must love this song for some reason?)

I like upbeat songs for Father/Daughter dance songs. If your dad is willing to bust a little bit of a move, these are always fun:

“You’ve Got a Friend in Me” Randy Newman (Yes, the song from Toy Story…listen to the lyrics! So cute!)

“American Girl” Tom Petty

“I Love You More Today Than Yesterday” Spiral Staircase

“Reach Out (I’ll Be There)” The Four Tops

And a song your dad might love (and Lord knows your mom does!), “It’s Not Unusual” by Tom Jones

And, finally, if your family is as goofy as mine can be, they’re always joking around. Make people go “Oh, that’s so them” with one of these songs:

“Short People” Randy Newman (my dad used to sing this to me all the time…he’s 6′4. I’m…not.)

“If You Wanna Be Happy” by Jimmy Soul (Another one of my dad’s favorites, the lyrics say “If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, so from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you” Like I said, the bride has to have a pretty good sense of humor…)

If your dad loves his duds, how about “Sharp Dressed Man” by ZZ Top (here with David Cook)

“I Knew the Bride (When she used to rock and roll)” Nick Lowe

And for the dad who gave the groom a “stern talking to” before the wedding, there’s Rodney Atkins’ “Cleaning This Gun”

What song are you using to dance with your dad?  Anything we missed here?

I’ve been doing save the dates, shower invites, bachelorette invites and wedding invites for friends, family and clients for years.  Often times, these include some sort of knotted ribbon.   This is particularly popular on Save the Dates (tying the KNOT).   I did a variation on this for my own holiday cards/Save the Date, which I’ll share more on in a later post.   My STD is a simple cardstock-weight folded card with a ribbon in it.  I’ve sent similar designs out many times before without paying extra postage, so I didn’t worry about getting a sample STD weighed at the post office first.  Here’s a shot of our Holiday/Save the Date cards to give you a general idea of what they looked like before going into envelopes:

After stamping all of my envelopes with a festive Christmas stamp, I waited in line at the Georgetown post office to ask them to hand cancel my box of envelopes so they had a nice DC postmark on them.   Apparently, USPS folks don’t like to hand cancel very much because I was immediately given a hard time.   Then she informed me that it would cost $.20 extra to mail each envelope because of the “bump” (the bump being the knot on the ribbon).  She told me if I mailed them, either my guests would receive an envelope asking for the additional $.20 in order to deliver… or they would be returned to me a full two weeks later with a stamp that says “insufficient postage.”    Since this was the first time I’d ever been told this, I left – WITH all of my Save the Dates in hand.

I returned to my local Virginia post office the next morning and decided to mail a few, make sure they arrived, and then would return to mail the rest.   A gentleman working at the post office stopped me as I was putting the envelopes into the mail slot (I had given up on hand canceling for these) and asked to see one.  I handed one over and to my surprise (and dismay), he also told me that it would cost an extra $.20 to mail each envelope due to the bump.   He repeated the info about the addressee having to pay the difference or that they would be returned to me two weeks later.

!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I asked if this was new and the gentleman informed me that they started enforcing it with the last rate increase in the spring.    Since I don’t want my guests to be charged to save the date, I proceeded to the counter to purchase $.20 stamps.  Of course, they only had $.10 stamps, so my cute STDs looked like this by the time the USPS got done with them:

I returned home, and did some research on the internet.  It is very hard to come by, but I did find this info on the USPS site:

“Letters that meet one or more of the nonmachinable characteristics… are subject to the $.20 nonmachinable surcharge.”

As it turns out, non-machinable characteristics include ribbons, bows, buttons, embellishments (that are common on holiday cards!) and even things like STD magnets inside the card.

Here’s my best advice on how to avoid getting caught off-guard:

1.) Check with your stationary designer on whether your design will require extra postage.   If it’s heavier than 1 ounce, is a square shape, is addressed vertically (instead of horizontally) or has the aforementioned embellishments that cause a “bump” in the envelope, you might have to pay more.

2.) Double-check with the post office by bringing a sample in BEFORE purchasing stamps, or possibly before purchasing the STD, invite, etc…

3.) If you do require extra postage and want to avoid having 2 or 3 stamps on your envelope, be sure to purchase stamps in the right amount.  You may find that sites like Stamps.com or Zazzle.com are very useful in that you can design your own stamp with the exact value required for your envelopes.

4.) Skip the embellishments if you want to save money.    There are ways to “tie” ribbons without a bump.  I’ve already mentally changed my DIY invitation design to include a bump-less ribbon!

I know this isn’t the usual post filled with swoon-worthy inspiration that most of our blog reader enjoy the most, but since ’tis the season for snail mail, I thought some of you out there might find it helpful since the USPS doesn’t promote awareness of this new charge.   Have any of you experienced similar problems with the USPS?   Please share to help your fellow readers avoid the same situation!

Until next time… happy mailing!

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WishQuiz: Do I Need a Wedding Coordinator?

1. Do I have a break between my ceremony and reception?

• I’m not sure.  I don’t have a venue selected yet.  4 points
• No.  Everything is at one venue.  3 points
• No but my guests will need to travel between two places. 2 points
• Yes.  I have a couple hours in between the ceremony and reception. 1 point

2. Am I a DIY-er? Maybe I’m making my own invitations, place cards, favors, or programs? At the extreme, maybe I’m even purchasing my own tablecloths, arranging my own flowers, or using my friends as vendors?

• We haven’t gotten this far yet.  Why would we need invitations?   6 points
• We’re doing almost everything ourselves! Weddings are so expensive and it’ll be nice to save some money. 5 points
• I have some medium-size projects but am mostly relying on professional vendors for the wedding day. 3 points
• I’m not crafty and those things aren’t important to me. I’d much prefer to skip the accessories. 0 points

3. Am I planning on asking my friends or family to help set up on the wedding day?

• Uh oh, I’m not sure.  What am I going to do with all these DIY projects?  5 points
• Of course! That’s what the bridal party is for, right? 4 points
• My caterer or hotel person said they’d do this – 3 points
• I’ve thought about it but am not sure I want to ask my family or friends. 2 points
• No, I’d much prefer to trust the vendors I’ve hired. What could go wrong with Grandma’s heirloom cake topper? 1 point

4. Who have I asked to clean up at the end of the evening? My guest book, toasting flutes, cake knife, and wedding gifts need to make it home somehow!

• I don’t know but don’t like the idea of asking a guest to stay late. 6 points
• My mom, my maid of honor, or I will be staying late after the reception to gather up my personal items. 5 points
• Doesn’t my caterer or hotel  representative do that? 4 points
• I won’t have any personal belongings at the end of the wedding.  No guests are bringing cards or gifts and everything we’re using will be rented. I don’t even want to keep the top of my wedding cake . 1 point

5. Do I trust the vendors I’ve hired for the wedding day?

• I’m not sure — I haven’t hired a lot of my vendors yet. 6 points
• I am relying mostly on friends and family for the catering, photography, venue, flowers, and music. What could go wrong? 5 points
• No, I booked most of my vendors through the yellow pages or through bridal show promotions.  I’m not confident that they’ll all show up. 4 points
• Yes, most of them are great. One or two companies are hard to get in touch with but I’m sure they’ll be fine. 3 points
• Yes, entirely!  I relied on personal recommendations from friends and have been very happy with the service I’ve received from everyone. 2 points

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Add up your points and see how you scored!

0-5 points: I probably don’t need a wedding coordinator. Not all engaged couples need someone around on the wedding day.  Since my wedding is at a full-service hotel or catering facility and I’ve hired top-notch professional vendors, I’m probably alright on your own.  I don’t mind being distracted by questions from vendors in the morning and during the wedding reception

6-9 points: I should consider a wedding day coordinator. At the very least I can assign a friend to the setup/cleanup duties at my wedding.  I’ve done that for many of my friends and am sure they wouldn’t mind working for a few hours.  It’s the least they can do for the four-hour open bar, right?

10-16 points: I should absolutely hire a wedding day coordinator. I’m pretty organized and have things planned well but don’t want to deal with last-minute emergencies and setting up the decorations on the wedding day.  After spending so much on the whole wedding, I’d much prefer to invest a little bit more and ensure I’ll be a guest at my own party.  Having a Wedding Day Coordinator will take care of all the little details so I don’t have to worry about them.  It’ll be nice to relax and have fun with my new spouse.

17-22 points: I probably need some assistance with the rest of the wedding plans. Maybe I have a few more vendors left to book or I haven’t thought all the way through the details.  A Partial Wedding Planning package might be the best fit for me so I can wrap up the loose ends and create a solid plan for the day.  It’ll be nice to know that I’m covering all my bases.

23-27 points: OMG! HELP! I don’t know what I’m doing and really need the advice of a professional.  If I can’t afford Full Service Wedding Planning, I should at least seriously consider some Hourly Wedding Planning Help on an as-needed basis.  This will give me the education I need to get organized and on track with the wedding plans.  It’ll be here sooner than I think!

Lindsay & Sam’s bridal party poses for DC wedding photographer Greg Gibson

Have you created a formal photo ’shot list’ for your photographer yet?  This list is a simple guide to help your photographer capture all the combinations of family portraits you want taken.  Since they don’t know who your families are, a shot list can help keep things running smoothly and quickly.  Besides, who wants to spend time getting formal photos taken by an unorganized photographer when they can be enjoying cocktail hour?

Here’s an example of a very simple, traditional, and basic shot list:

1. Bride, Groom, Bride’s Parents, Bride’s siblings, Bride’s grandparents
2. Bride, Groom, Groom’s Parents, Groom’s siblings, Groom’s grandparents
3. Bride, Groom, Bridesmaids, Groomsmen
4. Bride, Bridesmaids
5. Groom, Groomsmen
6. Bride, Groom

Of course you can augment this list any way you like!  Have a bunch of sorority sisters who always get a group shot at every wedding?  Or a special family friend who helped raise you?  Maybe your parents or grandparents want a photo with just you and them.  Add all the combinations you want but remember the longer your list, the less time you have to mingle with guests at the reception.

I prefer to get the family photos taken first, then the bridal party, then the bride and groom.  This allows us to get the larger groups finished and sent off to the cocktail hour.  Besides, the less people you have standing around and staring while you have photos taken the less stressed you’ll be!

Photographer Heather Z, lining up the family photo at Kirsten & Daniel’s wedding

Be sure you TELL YOUR GUESTS if they are to stay and get their photos taken.  We recently had a couple who wanted some select guests to take photographs at the church after the ceremony ended.  These poor guests had no idea and got on the buses with everyone else.  While your coordinator or photographer can help gather family members and put them in order, we won’t recognize your aunts, uncles, and cousins to pick them out of a crowd.

Are there any photographers out there who have additional advice on creating a shot list?  Please share your thoughts in our comments!

The problem comes in when it’s time to dance!  What do you do with all that extra fabric?  Sure, you could leave it down and let it get stepped on all night.  Or you could pick it up and carry it through the reception, losing the use of one of your hands for about five hours.  Neither of these options are really good.  Your best bet is to put a bustle into your gown!

A bustle is a set of strings, ribbons, buttons, hooks, or other closures attached to the back of a wedding gown.  This allows the fabric to be cinched up and held off the floor.  Here’s a ‘before and after’ example:

Knottie ginanjason

There are a few different ways you can have your dress bustled:

Simple “Over” Bustle
This is the simplest type of bustle and is usually the cheapest to ‘install.’  Your seamstress will attach a few buttons along the waist seam of your gown.  Then they will put string loops a little lower on the train.  To bustle, just match up the buttons and loops.  The train will pull off the floor.  This can also be done with hooks and eyes, depending on the existing decoration of your gown.  Here’s an example:

Simple “Under” Bustle:
Similar to the Over Bustle, the ‘Under’ pulls the fabric underneath itself instead of being pulled over the rest of the skirt.  Get it?  Buttons and loops are placed on the underside of the fabric so they are hidden from view.  Then they’re matched up to pull the fabric off the floor.  The outside of the fabric has a different look because the fabric is folded differently.  Here’s an example:

WeddingBee’s Miss Hot Cocoa

French Bustle:
A French bustle is a complicated version of the Under bustle.  Instead of buttons or hooks, the seamstress will attach ribbons underneath the dress.  The ribbons simply get tied together, matching up the fabric and holding it to itself.  It sounds trickier but it’s really not.  This type of bustle is very popular because several points can make several layers of bustle:

Austrian Bustle:
This type of bustle is less popular although it still creates a beautiful effect.  Instead of putting ribbons or buttons underneath the dress, the seamstress will sew bias tape or a set of eyes to the underside of the train.  Then when it’s time to bustle, another ribbon is pulled tight to cinch the fabric together.  If you grew up in the ’80s like I did, undoubtedly your house had balloon shade curtains.  It’s the same idea:

Here’s a close-up example of what the button/loop system looks like:

And the hook/eye system:

Photos from the very helpful Leanna.com

Of course now that you have your bustle, you need to find someone who can help out on the wedding day!  Usually your mother, maid of honor, or wedding coordinator will fill this role.  If possible, it’s best if that person comes with you to the final gown fitting to practice putting up the bustle.  Here’s a funny photo of Wendee at Lucie’s Weddings and Events bustling a bride’s gown:

Have you decided what type of bustle you’ll have on your gown?  Which do you think is the prettiest?  Tell us in the comments!

Join me as I talk about event budgets and how to stretch your wedding dollar!  From decor to flowers to catering and every detail in between, there are always opportunities to cut corners and save in unexpected places.  Here’s the info on this casual event:

When: Tuesday, April 21st, 7-8pm
Where: The Dandelion Patch, 111 Church Street, Vienna, VA
Why: Because everyone likes to save money!
RSVP: Email The Dandelion Patch

See you there!